Monday, 29 May 2017

A Marriage is made in Heaven but doesn't bring Ego along! (Part-2)

Recap: http://www.tellingunsaid.com/2017/05/a-marriage-is-made-in-heaven-but-doesnt.html


Whenever I observe problems in a marriage, I wonder how difficult it would be for the couple involved. Even though, arguments are part & parcel of a marriage, I have never been able to overcome the grief I feel around me whenever, I and my husband have faced this. 

I heard that, people become casual after a number of years in a marriage, and they don't bother as much as they did in the beginning but, I have not been even able to slow down the pace of my heartbeats during such times. It is tough to perceive it as something "negative" because having the same sense of discomfort as I had years ago, makes me hold on to my firm belief that "Love never Dies or Changes". 


I believe this might be the "Mantra" behind the short-lived tiffs between us. But, this can't be proved infallible in every situation. This works for us because my husband is equally sensitive as I'm. So, this may not be the case in every couples' lives since everyone in this small world is unique.


I have seen people playing blame games on each other where they do not respect the chores each of them does. A husband finds his office chores most exhausting and consider his housewife as the most idle person, whereas a housewife believes that she works 24*7 but her husband takes rest atleast after coming back home. 


Things are not too different for the working wives either; only handful of them get household help from their husbands and rest are supposed to push themselves alone for the things left undone in the morning.


While the husband sleeps an hour extra to fight with the stress; the wife is already up to get the children going, to cook meals, and to finish other things before she leaves for her office. 


And, when the husband skips his lunch because of extra load at work-place, a housewife may be taking a nap with children or may even be getting pampered in a Salon but, this doesn't makes her the "most idle person" because she is the one who might be working for next day when the husband has already fallen asleep at night.


Everything moves around one factor; how much you guys understand each other, and how much respect you have for the commitments, each of you have in your respective lives. Some people just can't resist stress while others are so patient that they can work 24 hours in a day. Some like to go on weekend excursions after a good hectic week, while others just like to sit back, sorry not sit back but, just like to lay down and watch TV with good food on the go. Now, when a fight already goes on to decide whether to go out or not, another argument is already finding its place where; some wives/husbands like to get pampered before other people (which you call PDA) while other better-halves don't find it decent, and this "Game of Thrones" goes on and on...where each one wants to convince the other.


At the end, most of the couples end up complaining about shortcomings of each other without respecting that every person is unique and they have their own way of showing love and care, and that if you have been busy during a day, it might be the same for your better half too. If one gets tired mentally, the other gets exhaust physically. If one works 5 days a week, the other works 7 days a week. If one earns for the family, the other brings-up the family. 


But the irony is; everyone understands this, everyone laughs at husband-wife jokes, everyone gets emotional on hearing any sad story or on watching a sad ending in a movie, everyone wants to pamper their spouse like actors does in their movies but, it's all Momentary. Once, your own stress level raises; you forget everything, and when your spouse complaints one more time, it's your Ego which speaks because you don't wish to prioritize anyone's words over yours.


PS: Life is short! Live it, Love it! Chuck your Ego, try to earn a good living, and make sure you make memorable memories! Marriages are made in Heaven; if we can't recreate the heavenly magic on planet Earth, let's atleast be Human and respect each other.